Story Archive May 18, 2003 (Page 1 of 1)

I know this isn't supposed to be a movie review site, but still.

Here's a quick quide:

* Fighting: In general, very cool fights, as you'd expect. Great fight music too. That said, there aren't any of these fights until you're at least 30 mins into the film - and as Neo's fighting speeds up (he needs to because that irksome Agent Smith keeps replicating himself all over the shop), the special effects take hold and Neo begins to look less like Keanu, more like a slimline, yoga-teaching Morph.

* Music. Very cool. Very 'space-age Propellerheads'. At one point in the film the whole Matrix resistance crew have a huge demonstration/meeting kind of 'do', which thereafter turns into a rave. The tune used in this scene (which I've yet to track down online) is absolutely stunning. It's worth seeing the film for this tune alone, especially heard in Movie-theatre-surround-sound.

* Characters. Lots of newbies, much like the second Lord of the Rings flick. Quite confusing to keep to keep up with. Lowlights include a French-accented smarmy git who made me want to get inside the film purely so I could slap him about a bit.

Also, Neo meets the Architect of the Matrix, which is quite possibly the dullest, most confusing and drawn out scene you'll see on a movie screen this year. This guy talks r-e-a-l-l-y slowly, and rambles on in a very Matrixy pseudo-philosophical way, using the biggest words you've ever heard outside of a Pure Mathematics Talkathon, and he confuses you (well, he did me) to the point of wishing you'd taken a small wall along to bang your head against.

* Great lines - hmmm... absolutely ALL the lines in the Matrix Reloaded are delivered s-l-o-w-l-y, with huge amounts of GRAVITAS in a blatant and quite frustrating attempt to make this movie feel like an epic. And quality lines too, like 'You do not really know someone.... until... you fight them'. Wow, thanks for that. Oh, and the French guy was seemingly obsessed with the concept of "cause (insert HUGE PAUSE) and... effect". Whatever floats your boat I suppose.

* The plot - ask me if or when I've watched this again. Prepare to be confused, really confused.

Brief attempt at a basic plot summary: Neo still looks confused and bewildered (I know how he feels), lots of resistance 'unplugged' humans live in a place called Zion (under the ground) with heads called Counsellors, captains and all sorts (the film was really trying to out-Star-Wars Star Wars in this respect), the evil Matrix computers create an army of sentinels, Neo and Trinity get jiggy on a fairly regular basis, Neo must go into the Matrix mainframe to solve stop 250,000 sentinels attacking Zion. He does get into the mainframe computer but somehow in the process
learns that he's not really the one at all, or so we're told.

* The much-discussed religious references... yawn, oh please, I ain't heading down that geaky path.

I have a hangover, which may have tainted this review somewhat. For this I apologise.

However, on the plus side, this film was watched in a VIP screening, with HUGE comfy chairs, free drinks, popcorn, and a complimentary DVD of the first Matrix film (which I understand, hurrah!).

In conclusion: I wouldn't suggest you avoid this film, because the dance tune I mentioned really is that good, but don't belive the hype, don't expect too much, and prepare to suspect your disbelief, a long, long way up.